Darr sa lgta hai

Zindagi gumnamiyo mein kho na jae darr sa lgta hai,

Wo kahin aage chal ke Hume bhool na jae, darr sa lgta hai.

Yun toh hai aitbaar unki mohabbat pe,

Khud ko khud ki nazar na lag jae, darr sa lgta hai.

Bhavya Mishra (besabar)

Advertisements

Stolen sunshine

My smile is a show that I put on to please others.

To please those who care about me.

Those who will be worried if they knew,

What a mess I’ve become internally.

The smile that keeps others satisfied,

That I am doing just fine.

They see all gleam and glow,

They don’t see it is just stolen sunshine.

Bhavya Mishra(besabar)

Probably having a mental breakdown.

If this isn’t sheer frustration then I am probably having a mental breakdown. So I have a job that’s paying okay. I have a job offer that’ll pay slightly better. None of the above mentioned are making me happy but the bills piling up don’t allow me to do what I want. I want a break from all this F—–g rat race. I just want an escape where I can just be surrounded by serenity and books. I am so darn frustrated that I keep having mood swings. Last couple of months haven’t exactly been fine for me even on medical terms. I’ve been in and out of the doctor’s clinic several times. I just need a break. I just need to be able to follow my dream. I am working so darn hard at my job but it isn’t paying off. I know I’ll get suggestions like I should follow my dream and should leave this job where I am not happy but that doesn’t make sense if I think that there’ll still be bills by the end of the month. This is pathetic that a girl of my age is this worried. But I am. Okay? I can’t stand being so mad all the time. This isn’t me. Those who know me here, know how calm I am most of the time. Can’t I salvage the calm me? Can’t I make it out if here without being broke?

Who knows

So I am brewing my coffee as the day has begun. Most of you are up or probably asleep depending on where you’re from or just how much you love your bed. Anyways, so I wrote something. A friend of mine read that and was utterly shocked, as he kept reading his expressions kept changing. When done reading, he looked at me and said, “what were you thinking when you wrote this?” And I was not sure. Turns out it was actually influenced by his story. That was when it hit me that I probably subconsciously wrote about him and his sorta kinda girlfriend. Isn’t it amazing and bizzare at the same time how much we have going on in the back of our mind all the time. whether we are writing a poem, writing a story or just casually brewing coffee. Who knows what’s brewing inside the brain.

Till next time loveliesπŸ’–

That’s what I’ll never say

When the world is sleeping I stay awake,

It’s the thought of you that has me put my heart at stake.

You’re unaware of my existence,

This makes my existence a sentence.

We cross paths but never collide,

My feelings are what I hide.

You smile is enough to get me through,

I would love to hold you though.

I am just another heart that beats for someone I’ll never get,

But loving you is something I’ll never regret.

I’ll probably always remain invisible, unrecognized,

You’ll never see my nervousness , the way you leave my heart paralyzed.

That blush I get when you accidentally touch my fingers.

Afterwards your warmth that lingers.

You’ll never know any of this, cause I’ll never say,

Because i know she makes you happy and that’s how I want you to stay.

Bhavya Mishra(Besabar)

The eternal longing

No matter how much she tried something always failed her. She did everything she could but nothing made him realize what he was doing to her broke her a little more every single time. He was ignorant. She was patient. He was a player. She was faithful. He was too practical and she was a dreamer. He was always busy and she was always hopeful that maybe one day he’ll understand that she’s burning away in the flame of eternal longing.

Is it easy?

Sharing your story- people often say sharing what you feel, what you have been through, what you think you are going through makes the process of acceptance or rebellion easier. I personally think it is a dilemma to either believe such people or not. Some of them will stand by you throughout your journey but most of them will sit back and enjoy seeing you suffer as you crawl through your ups and down. Beware people. It can be really tough out there. That’s why we escape into a world of words and emotions because we know this is our place to be ourselves. So, it is easy to trust people. Is it easy to believe when people say they are here to stay?

Just a question..

πŸ’–500πŸ’–

Aaandddd Now i have got 500 of you lovelies. It took forever for this digit to become 500 from 0 and i am a 100 responsible for that sloth speed. I haven’t been the most active blogger even though i usually say i will be from now on every now and then. So here is to you all and hopefully soooo many more you that will be a part of my WordPress Fam real soon.

Love ya’llπŸ’–

So.

So the weekend is here. well atleast that is what the calendar says. Time to go out. Paint the town red and bust a move but honestly i don’t really get the whole idea behind the big hype over the weekend. i mean i do get it but my weekend has now become not like what it used to be. Usually it is just filled with laundry. reading and catching up on chores. If i get lucky i get to spend time with my Husband since our week offs don’t sync due to work schedules so fingers crossed for that.

Talking about the reading part now, someone recommended a beautiful book. GO SET A WATCHMAN By HARPER LEE and that is what is on my reading list for this weekend. Let’s see how much of that i can go through in two days. Anyways. signing off for now. Let’s stay hopeful that this weekend will be better than every oher one till date.πŸ’–

Love ya’ll